Disgruntled Life Coach Podcast

Episode Seven – The Gold-Plated Rule

May 06, 2021 Coach Raoul Season 1 Episode 7
Disgruntled Life Coach Podcast
Episode Seven – The Gold-Plated Rule
Show Notes Transcript

In this seventh episode of the Disgruntled Life Coach Podcast, we’ll talk about the golden rule and why you're doing it wrong. We’ll start off with quotations, as usual, then the main segment will focus on Pillar #6, and we’ll finish off with a Disgruntled Nugget – a little piece of wisdom you can take with you, or not, I don’t care. Also thx to Audionautixand Partners In Rhymefor the music and sound effects.

Support the show

The disgruntled Life Coach podcast, Episode Seven.

Welcome to the Disgruntled Life Coach Podcast. This week, I want to talk to you again about supporting local, but maybe help out with a bit of good will and community spirit. Food banks, shelters and lots of other non-profits are hurting really bad during this pandemic. If you're lucky enough to have some disposal income, please think about doing some good with it. And, while you're at it, buy lunch or dinner from one of your favourite digs that's still around and doing curbside and take-out. You're going want these places around when things get better, so treat them that way now, like today. And, hey, thanks.

Today we're going to talk about the pillar with the longest of names - clearly I did NOT think this through - which is pillar # 7 - don't ask others to do what you don't want to do. I know, I know, it's longer than the last 10 minutes of a shitty movie when you really have to pee, so maybe I'll rename it, sometime, in the future. But in essence, we're talking about the golden rule here, and even though I just talked about pee, it's not what you're thinking, Wendy!

So what is it about wanting to be treated well by others that is confusing? Art Linkletter, radio and television host, fantastic guy, and Moose Jaw's second most famous celebrity (Burton Cummings wins, sorry Art) once said: "My philosophy is to do the best you can for somebody. Help. It's not just what do you for yourself. It's how you treat people decently. The golden rule. There isn't big anything better than the golden rule. It's in every major religion in one language or another." He's right about the religion thing too, we'll come around to that later, but it's really about just being good to other people.

No one knows that better than those who were treated badly by other people but still rose above. We're talking about civil rights activist and awesome commuter Rosa Parks who said: "Nothing in the Golden Rule says that others will treat us as we have treated them. It only says that we must treat others in a way that we would want to be treated." This is the very epitome of taking the high road, which she did, and changed history. Now that's some shit.

And finally, Let's talk about New Age Nutcase, or alternative thinking spiritualist, I'll stick to the former, Deepak Chopra who says: "If you contemplate the Golden Rule, it turns out to be an injunction to live by grace rather than by what you think other people deserve." That's right, Mr. Agey Wisdom says that we need to treat people, even if they're dicks, with the gentleness and positivity of good will, despite those people actually deserving less. Oh Deepak, you’re so judgey sometimes. Also, please, don't be a dick.

So there's nothing new about the Golden rule. We've been hammering this concept for thousands of years, from ancient Greek philosophers like Socrates, to far eastern thinkers like Confucius, and everything in between. It's found in Early Buddhist teaching, in the words right the mouths of Jesus and Mohamed, and in Tamil writings from the 12th century, and that’s only a short list. We've literally all been taught this for our entire history. So why are we still dicks when it comes to getting other people to do our fucking dirty work. Let's explore.

Well, it appears as thought the Golden Rule has some flaws, and those flaws are really human beings. Sometimes, if we're already predisposed to being shitty people with low self-esteem, and that's how we want to be treated, then that's how we treat others. Or we twist the whole thing like a pretzel. In his book Ethics and the Golden Rule, retired professor of philosophy at Loyola University Chicago, Harry Gensler writes: “The golden rule appears to command that I refrain from calling the police when an intruder breaks into my house, on the grounds that, were I an intruder, I would not desire that the police be called; and so on. Thus there seems to be a divide between common sense and careful thinking, a divide separating the common folk from the philosophers." So this is where we kind of take it on the chin because, as a species, we're kind of trash.

But the universe's reading of the golden rule doesn't necessarily matter, it's more like a burrito, there’s more to it than you can see. And the reason why I placed my pillar in the negative perspective, as in don't have others do etc. is because you're already screwing things up or you wouldn't be listening to this stupid podcast. So let's get specific and think of the reasons why you want to ask people to do your crappy things in the first place.

There are three main angles to focus on here. The first is that you just have way too much shit going on. So when you're rich friend asked you to help rebuild an outhouse at his cottage, that seemed like a pretty fun weekend beerfest, until you met face-to-face with the reality that a) you already signed up for that stupid Deepak Chopra summer meditation course that happens every Saturday morning and b) you're talking about re-building a hut that is, quite literally, full of shit. Of course you want someone else to stand knee deep in human waste while digging new post holes, but you're the one who said yes to the the mess - apologies to you marriage fetish television watchers out there.

And, also, before you all get up and shout that that’s not how you build an outhouse, let me stop you. I know perfectly well how it all works, but I needed that for my human waste metaphor, so just let me have this one goddamn thing. Thanks.

The second possibility is that you have decided that you really want something, like a specific thing, and you're either not able, allowed, or motivated to go through the steps to get it. This is actually really disappointing because you're probably still not going to get what you're looking for and, if you do, you likely won't appreciate it. Deep, right? Sure, just like the outhouse. And I know that I'm making a complete and total judgment call here even though I've never met you or talked about your twisted desires, probably, Andrea, but for the rest of you I can make this leap because I'm a fucking life coach.

The third option is that you're a bit of a dick or you're just not right. You ask people to do things that you don't want to do, not because you want or need something, it's just the exercise of making people do crappy little tasks for some weird fulfillment need. As a small joke, once in a while, to someone who returned the “favour” is one thing, but if this becomes a pattern of behaviour, that's where the fun ends and the psychopathology begins, and this is where you need to really get a life coach - hey, I think you're in luck!

So how do you stop saying yes to things in your life that get you in these shitty situations – look I promise to stop with the outhouse jokes. But the full schedule thing is important, we actually talked about this in previous episodes, and saying yes to all these things can cause you to be in a rush, potentially pushes you to rudeness, and can make you self-centred - more on that next pod. But if you already have too much going on, just say no. And don't be selective - say no to all the shit, then add things back in that you enjoy AND have time for. Don't feel guilty - it's your life, and it’s not your outhouse. Just say no.

If you get others to do things because you're lazy or unmotivated, you really need to think about the golden rule in relation to how you're treating yourself. The golden rule applies to you too. I know, it's been a difficult year, we're all dealing with crap on top of crap with crap stuffed in the middle and thrown on top of a crap salad with crap dressing. So find whatever it is that brings you joy, and do like Deepak Chopra does – and I don’t mean get rich on a stupid quasi-scientific, pseudo-philosophy gig, unless that works for you. No, I mean let some light into your life. Yeah, I know, it doesn’t sound like words from disgruntled lips, but I can surprise sometimes.

And, finally, if you just dig on other people doing random tasks for your own amusement, you really need to think of where that's going to take you. There's no slot machine payoff at the end of that putrid trail. You need to find out the source of that frustration and channel it into something good, like refinishing trashed furniture for the less fortunate, or teaching Polish to young immigrants - who maybe have no need for Polish, but you can't take that away once it's theirs, am I right? Still, you really need to examine what's missing in your life and fill it with something productive, even if it's just chronic masturbation. At least it'll keep you off the streets until you figure out where you need to be so that your psychosis stops negatively affecting your life, and the lives of others. And, as always, if it's too big to deal with on your own, don't feel that it's wrong to seek help - and we're talking about your psychological situation here, just to be clear. But really, find actual help, listen to advice, and join the human race. We’d love to have you back.

Okay, so that's it for this episode. As always, I'll leave you with a Disgruntled nugget in a second, but first I want to thank you for listening. Remember to subscribe to this podcast, I’m on Apple and Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeartRadio and other platforms, and please visit www.disgruntledlifecoach.ca for all my podcasts – www, jesus christ, just use it and don’t give me a hard time. Please also follow me on twitter @lifedisgruntled, there's a link on my website and, if you DM me your address, I’ll send you a sticker or two. Also, if you like what you've heard today, tell your friends. If you think this is ridiculous, still, tell your friends, I mean how hard is that. 

Disgruntled Nugget.

A very long time ago, Greek playwright Euripides said “Leave no stone unturned,” which is sound advice, except that around the same time, another Greek playwright, Aristophanes, said “Under every stone lurks a politician.” So, depending on who is right, maybe that’s why we should actually leave the stones alone and not throw them because we all live in glass houses and we shouldn't throw mossless rolling stones because, you know, lurking politicians and moss on rolling stones, or something, I don't know, whatever...

Again, thanks for listening, and thanks also to Audionautix and Partners in Rhyme for music and sound FX, thanks again to Neatnik for visuals, and thanks for your patience - see you in two weeks, or not, whatever...