This is my Season 1 Finale. Let’s review the pillars, things we talked about, and things to look forward to in Season 2, which starts January 13, 2022. We’re going to skip the definitions and quotations, but we’ll probably finish off with a Disgruntled Nugget – a little piece of wisdom you can take with you, or not, I don’t care. Also thx to Audionautix and Partners In Rhyme for the music and sound effects.Support the show
Well, this is the last Disgruntled Life Coach Podcast episode for 2021. It's been a strange year, but I want to thank everyone who took the time to listen to one or more of my podcasts. I will be back with Season 2 Episode 1 on January 13, 2022, so mark that on your calendars. I would never have thought I would reach as many listeners as I did, or get as many followers on twitter, when I first started, even with the sound quality issues in the early days. Thanks to Paul, sound is better, so let's start next year off right. For now, let's look back on this season and see what we learned.
What we're going to do, specifically, is review the 7 Pillars so that we can reaffirm the foundations of better disgruntled living. We'll apply some of the basics from some episodes into this, and try to give you a short reminder of what you need to do to be a better human. And, really, I think you should continue to listen into next season because in your heart, you know I'm making sense in your life. Should you be afraid that a pretend life coach is worth listening to? Decide for yourself, but It's nice to have you listening, really.
First, let's re-familiarize ourselves with The 7 Pillars of Better Disgruntled Living:
1-Don't make excuses
2-Don't be rude
3-Don't be in a rush
4-Don't be uninformed
5-Don't be a dick
6-Don't ask others to do what you don't want to do
7-Don't be self-centred
These exist as a framework for how to move in the right direction to being a better human being. Sounds like a rather audacious statement on a bunch of words that I just threw together, but it works. And why do they all start with "Don't"? Because I'm treating you like a toddler until I know for sure you're not. It's not personal, but you need to start at the beginning to unlearn some of the absolute shit that you think is just your personality quirks. Let's look back on Season 1 for some context on this. Pay attention, yes you at the back, Michael.
Don't make excuses: We talked about this a bunch, like the Blame Game Episode 14 and, of course Episode 2-Excuses Damned Excuses. But every time we talk about excuses, it sounds super-negative. And it should, because there's no reason, ever, to rely on excuses, period. And don't get into that semantic argument that it's not an excuse, it's a "reason". It's not, and you're lying to yourself, and that's no excuse for anything. Don't get me started. Oops, too late.
• What we learned: Everyone screws up, makes mistakes, or does something the breaks something. Excuses don't stop those things, so as George Washington said, it is better to make no excuse than a bad one.
• What do you need to do: You need to own your mistakes like a badge of honour. Don't keep making them mind you, just stop trying to wiggle out of them with lame excuses. Admit your error, change, and move on - that's personal growth. You'll know it when it happens, because suddenly you won't be such a jerk. It's awesome.
Don't be rude: Whether you initiate rude behaviour, react rudely, and act rude through some passive-aggressive bullshit, it all adds up to you having a level of low self-esteem. Seems counter-intuitive, but you're never rude to someone unless it's to prop up your sagging mental state or intellectual stature. Maybe try just being better informed and making better decisions.
• What we learned: Being rude and being a dick are not mutually exclusive. But know that if you start behaving rudely, and it becomes a habit, you may find the you are also becoming a bit of a dick. Also, don't be a dick.
• What do you need to do: Don't treat anyone with rudeness and when someone is rude to you, know that it's a reflection of their shitty day: don't make it worse by snarking back. That's for three-year-olds in a fucking sandbox. Grow up.
Don't be in a rush: The first time we talked about this in Episode 4 - Tools Rush In, we were talking mostly about time management, and we touched on it again in a couple of later episodes. One thing I didn't talk about is intellectually rushing - jumping to conclusions, or a rush to judgment. Either way, even though life is short, there's no reason to always just take a step back, see what needs to be done, and make a plan.
• What we learned: Well, to no one's surprise, we found empirical evidence that suggests that 98% of humans are shitty at multi-tasking, but we do it anyway. This must surely be the source of bad planning and rushing for most people, and that's where you need to start making better choices. Finish one task and move on.
• What do you need to do: In the first place, you need to start using the word "No" a bit more. Many who struggle with rushing from task to task are doing so because they're trying to do too much. Simplify your life, say no to the things that you really don't have time for. Do it. Today.
Don't be uninformed: This continues to be a theme throughout many episodes, and I try to convey to you that reading and researching to help you figure things out is important. But where you get the info, and from what source, is even more important, so don't be lazy. Find good sources. If someone is giving you health advice on Facebook, really, don't listen to that shit. Just don't. Go to the Mayo Clinic website and see if they say the same thing - if they don't, you have your answer. Just try a little bit harder to get real information, it's out there, and it's not hard to find.
• What we learned: Being uninformed is bad for you and for everyone else around you. You compound that dysfunction when you choose to communicate the misinformation and disinformation that you dug up. Knowing and communicating are two separate acts, but when we're talking about being uninformed, they are a bad combination, like asparagus ripple ice cream.
• What you need to do: Stop being lazy, that's all. If your neighbour says "hey, the moon is made of cheddar" maybe don't just accept his word for it. Maybe, dig deeper, find a real source, and stop listening to people you know or suspect are full of shit.
Don't be a dick: I mean, do we even have to talk about this one. We talked about being a passive dick versus active, but they're both bad. And we end up back at one of my key points to a better life - empathy. Get some.
• What we learned: Being rude and being a dick are not the same. Being a dick has, attached to it, every time, the need to gain from the action, rudeness can happen without that. Everyone knows when someone is being a dick, ironically, even the person being a dick.
• What do you need to know: Honestly, do I have to say it? Don't be a dick. If you're going to say or do something, and you think it might be a super-snarky thing, then just don't fucking say or do that thing. Simple, right? Geez.
Don't ask others to do what you don't want to do: This is another really key life coaching point because it feeds into the golden rule and all the changes in your life that happen when you adopt that philosophy as a guiding principle. Honestly, walk a mile in someone else's shoes once in a while.
• What we learned: The golden rule is complicated and flawed, but at it's core, it works. However, this pillar displays that sometimes you get someone to do things that you don't want to do, not because you want or need something, but just to engage in the exercise of making people do crappy little tasks for some weird fulfillment need. Just do it or don't do it, but leave others out of it.
• What do you need to do: Apply the spirit of the golden rule to everything in your life, except the last slice of pizza, take that fucking slice.
Don't be self-centred: This may be last pillar, but it ties everything together. The empathy I always talk about is found in this pillar. So are all the other pillars. We know you live with yourself every day - you can't not - but it's those around you that make your life worth living. So don't be that stupid island with "Me" at the centre, think of others in every decision you make.
• What we learned: With greed specifically, we learned that it's like an addiction, and is often a coping mechanism for unresolved mental health issues.
• What you need to do: There are times when you may choose to do something that helps you, but hurts someone else. This is the line you should never cross. That and the yellow line at the train station, don't cross that either.
That's it for this season, I'll be back on Jan. 13 - but please continue to listen to episodes that you haven't listened, or re-listen to your favourites. Also please remember to follow me on Twitter, I will be posting through the break before Season 2 launches in January. And, as always, please go ahead and ask for some stickers - I have lots. Also, please continue to tell your friends, and if you think this podcast is ridiculous, still tell your friends, I mean, how hard is that.
This nugget is just another reminder that we all need each other at some point, and even if you don't embrace someone else's politics, religion or lifestyle, you can still be civil and have empathy for those around you. Conflict does not make anything better for you or anyone, so be aware, be empathetic, and be kind.
Again, thanks for listening, and thanks also to Audionautix and Partners in Rhyme for music and sound FX, thanks again to Neatnik for visuals, and thanks for your patience - see you in SIX weeks, or not, whatever...